Unpacking

I've now been home a couple of weeks and people keep asking me how the transition was between the Camino and home. It was surprisingly smooth, I tell them. Perhaps it was the week in Santiago, perhaps it was my desire to get home after being gone so long, perhaps it is because the Camino is still going on. Each day little memories cause me to reflect on the Christian journey and how the Camino simply makes tangible some of those truths.

For example. When it is raining, you cover yourself up and keep your eyes on your feet so you can side step puddles and rocks. I remember how hard it was to walk when mud clung to my boots. I took no pictures and have few memories of place when it was raining. You are not aware of who is around you or even of the landscape passing by because you are so focused on keeping your feet out of major trouble. When we encounter heavy rain in our lives--those dark, despairing times--consider how limited our focus becomes. I've had people say to me--no one was there. I was all alone. But the truth is, when your focus is limited and you aren't looking around, you have no idea just how many people are nearby nor are you aware of the loveliness of your surroundings. All we know, all we remember, is that we were trying to keep as dry as possible in what felt like impossible circumstances.

And ironically, you can get just as wet from what you use to keep yourself dry! My poncho was great for keeping the water out but underneath it my body was putting out moisture that had no place to go. Then, when I took off the poncho, it was easy to get chilled. How often do we turn to things that do not save us and in fact lead us into even more trouble? Rain is a necessary event--we know that. But in our hearts, we pray that rain will not fall in our lives. I tell parents presenting their children for baptism that baptism is no magic shield from harm. It didn't work for Jesus and it won't work for us. Life presents us with rain and thunder and even lightning. But what baptism DOES give us is the promise that we will never walk through the rain all by ourselves. All we have to do is look up and around--we are not alone. This is the Good News from the Cross. No matter how bad it seems. No matter how many people try to tell us that all is lost. Easter is God's reply. And after the rain, the earth is washed and colors are more intense and beautiful--and we are reminded that rain, like baptism, is our cleansing so we can see with new, fresh eyes what God is doing all around us. The question, of course, is do we bother looking around? Or are we simply glad the rain has finally stopped for the moment? My prayer is that you and I will give thanks for the rain and the promise of renewal it offers and then take the time to look around--even in the midst of the rain--to see who is nearby. For God comes to us in many and mysterious ways. How often have we missed it because our heads were down and our hearts were closed?

My last day in Spain

Interestingly enough, woke to a day filled with sunshine--but cool. Autumn is in full force here in Galacia. Tried to get my airline tickets straightened out at a Travel Agency. They called Iberia but the best they could get was: ¨well, it ought to work out but that depends on the agent at the airport.¨ His advice is to get to the airport several hours early to give me time to press my arguement (routing my bag from Santiago to Dullas rather than my current flight arrangements which have me going from Santiago to Madrid to Seville and then Seville to Madrid to Dullas. Arriving at the airport that early means getting up for the 6:40 a.m. bus--a 15 to 20 minute walk from my hostal (which also means learning how to set an alarm on my Spanish cell phone). The travel agent suggested I take a taxi instead. Decisions, decisions. Also suggested that since Iberia has one of the worst luggage records (hence the question about baggage handling), I should pack everything in my small suitcase that I don´t care if I see for possibly weeks. So in goes the dirty laundry, my first aid kit, etc. Like before, I will carry my backpack onboard. It has become a part of me.

While sitting with old men on the Cathedral square taking in a little warmth of the sun, who should walk up but a woman from British Columbia, Canada I met at Orisson! I have not seen her or her cousin since Roncesvalles. Turns out her cousin had to leave for family illness reasons so she ended up doing the Camino essentially alone. She took her time and arrived yesterday afternoon. We will meet up at 5p.m. today for wine and conversation. Several others arrived today whom I have not seen since the beginning so it has turned out to be a pleasant day.

May you rejoice in this day the Lord has made and give thanks for all that is good and true and beautiful in your life. And may God´s blessings fill your lives with joy and hope.

And the Lord must weep

Woke up this morning to more rain. I think I´ve figured out the routine. It rains or mists every day until around 3 or 4 p.m. Then the sun comes out until it goes down!

Went to the Cathedral this morning hoping for some quiet prayer time. I think that is an impossibility on the Camino. Got to the Cathedral a little after 10 a.m. and was told I would have to wait until atleast 11 a.m. before I could get in. And the crowds kept coming. Interestingly enough they allowed tour groups in but not those who wanted to pray. Is there something dreadfully wrong with this picture? And then when I did get in, people were pushing and shoving, talking loudly and otherwise making prayer very difficult indeed. And the tour groups kept coming through. Every few minutes there was a reminder that the Cathedral was a house of prayer and to keep silence but no one paid attention. Here were all these people, thousands of them strolling through, talking on cell phones, snapping pictures right and left of little things, and otherwise making the temple into a marketplace. I kept thinking that our Lord must weep to see all these people tromping through with narry a thought of the cost or the opportunity this place represents. I also keep thinking that the tourists buying pilgrim staffs should simply walk over to the Pilgrim Alberque (now admittedly it is a ¨ten minute¨journey--Roman will laugh) and pick up a staff for free that has actually made the journey!

I continue to be astonished by the numbers of people doing the Camino who have little or no religious or spiritual component to their journey. For many, it is a cheap way to travel in Spain and to have fun. For others--and this I can certainly understand--they are in the midst of making major decisions or entering significant transitions and need time to clear their heads in a structured environment. Certainly the Camino provides this. You have lots of time to think. Very few pilgrims actually apply for a Compostela--the document certifying your completion of the Camino (at least the last 100k). This could be discouraging for those who work so hard to ensure the continuation of the Camino. At the same time, it doesn´t take long to discover than many small, small towns along the Camino continue to exist simply because of pilgrim income. How else could a town with one house, two barns and a lot of cows and chickens possibily support a bar and an albergue for 50?

The time here is growing short and I am ready to leave. I think I have explored every nook and cranny of this town--in and out of the old city. Not much left to do but sit around and watch the tourists and incoming pilgrims (none of which I know now--they started later). May you find God´s grace tucked in a person or event today and may you offer a grateful and compassionate heart in return.

It´s raining

Woke up this morning to more rain and it has poured all day.......ugh! I did get laundry done today so that is a big plus. Now I´m down for the count coming home. Will do a few tourist things today and attend the Pilgrim´s Mass tomorrow. And hope for the sun to return.

Today was Finisterre and SUN!!!!

Well, if you count hazy with sun it was a beautiful day to go out to Finisterre and walk the final miles out to the ènd of the earth´. Not too many familiar faces out there but a few. Everyone on the bus out was a pilgrim--the Camino Express to Finisterre (and a double decker besides!). Standing there on the rocks looking down at the ocean and smelling the salty air was amazing. The boats down below looked so tiny. The clouds to the west were big and fluffy but the ocean was a beautiful blue to the north. And just think--you all are on the other side of where I was standing today!

The bus trip out took 2.5 hours but the return took 3.5--the bus broke down and we had to be picked up by another which turned out to be the `milk route´. Oh, well. That´s Camino! At least a portion of the trip was by the ocean. It was the fastest I have traveled in over a month! The bus was really flying. Again I was surprised by the number of tourists and tour buses parked near the lighthouse. There were pilgrims weeping and tourists chatting loudly and snapping pictures right and left. A pilgrim is grateful, tourists expect is a Camino mantra. The tourists seemed unaware that many of the people standing around in awe had walked there. I took a picture of the 0.00k marker in front of the lighthouse. A fitting symbol for the end of this incredible journey--a lighthouse and the wide blue ocean leading home to you.

Last night I ran into two people I had met the very first night in France around the dinner table in SJPP. He had had a medical emergency so I was pleased they were able to finsih. They had just gotten in and were looking for accomodation (which is not particularly easy or cheap here in Santiago). So there are still people I know showing up! I also saw creepy man (of Pamplona fame) yesterday.

May you find a light at the end of your journey and joy at the beauty of God´s creation. The journey does indeed begin with one step forward (with some steps backward at irritating moments!) but it does not end with the destination. God´s blessing be upon you and the peace of Christ be within you. May you be the source of God´s grace to others and may the grace of God encounter you in the crossings.

It´s still raining......

It has been pouring rain here in Santiago. And it is raining in Porto, Portugal and not so good at Finisterre either. I talked with a friend this morning who walked out to Finisterre and she said it was the hardest of the Camino--the terrain, the fact that some of the albergues are closed or very far apart, and of course, the rain. I was hoping to return to Leon where there is a forecast of sun but that is a 7 hour train/bus ride each way. So I am holed up here in Santiago continuing to see people I have met along the way and seeing all the sights. I am SO tired of rain! It has been a week of this stuff. Everytime I think it is clearing, another wave comes through. Walking back from the laundry yesterday (after they lost a shirt and pair of underwear--a crisis when you have only two sets), the sky opened up with wind and rain and everything got wet all over again. With the dampness, nothing dries and you feel clammy all the time.

In addition, I am homesick. I am ready to go but Iberia says I have to stay in Spain until next week. I stopped by the Pilgrim Office to see if my camera had been brought in. Nothing yet. They did take my name, email address and phone number so if it turns up, they will contact me and send it. Only a miracle will bring it back to me, I am afraid. So I purchased a book (in Spanish) that has many pictures along the Camino to remind me of specific places and memories. The camera I purchased does not really take very good pictures so I am trying to make sure I take things in.

I attended the Pilgrim´s Mass yesterday and heard: and one American pilgrim who started in SJPP--that´s me! It was a very moving service even though I could barely understand what was being said. And guess who sat down right near me?? The two German women who kept getting up early and then not leaving the albergue for an hour! God certainly has a sense of humor. A Cathedral filled to standing room with people and they found me! I sat with a woman from East Germany whom I had journeyed with for a bit and two other Germans. I also saw the Canadian women. The young woman from Hungary and so on. So a time of lots of familiar faces and congratulations all around. I will also attend the Mass on Sunday. It is really hard not to take Communion. I desperately miss the Eucharist even though I have been sharing bread and wine in huge quantities all along the way. I must remind myself that table fellowship and the breaking of bread is what Jesus certainly intended. Whenever we do this in his name, we are doing what he commanded. A pilgrim was chosen yesterday to read the lessons which was really nice.

I did the pilgrim ritual early this morning of going to visit St. James in his niche up behind the Cathedral Altar and then sent down to the tomb below. I was surprised by the tears. It has been a long journey with many stories and many challenges. I am truly grateful for a body and a pair of feet that brought me so far. I was not the only one. A number of pilgrims were also crying. Only the mobs of tourists walking past remind you that our experiences of the past month or more have been rich with connection to this destination. The tourists are dressed with nice shoes and clothes and we are still wearing our ¨quick dri¨clothing and boots--the contrast is stark not only in appearance but also in demeanor. The pilgrims walk with reverence and a kind of wondering look (have I really arrived? what has this journey meant? will I ever see so and so again? what will I do tomorrow?) and emotions are keen, while the tourists rush around with their guides snapping pictures like mad and talking loudly. This has been a profound experience which I cannot readily put into words. There have been smiles and tears, grunts and exuberant joy, and of course some words spoken in the heat of the moment that shall remain nameless. I have seen so many beautiful little towns, pots filled with gorgeous flowers, fields filled with all kinds of growing things, animals of all kinds, and of course the people of the country and other pilgrims. I will search today for a journal book (mine is filled) and see if I can use this time to get my heart and mind around it all.

May God bless you as you step out in faith this day. And may what you discover bring a smile to your face.

Arrived in Santiago today!

The past three days have been in intermittent rain. Not nice. Today though was particularly nasty because the rain was heavy and the trail was essentially a small river. I got my first blister of the Camino--always happens when my feet get wet. Arrived in Santiago covered in my tomato garb and when I got to the Cathedral square, the sun shone through for just a moment or two. It is amazing to think that I have made it! I received my Compostela--in some ways a disappointment because you stand in line with people who admit to having their baggage transported and having someone pick them up and take them to a hotel, and there you are standing in the same line, soaking wet and still with your backpack on. You sign a list, your name is written on the Compostela, you put in your money, and there you are. I did manage to leave my very wet hat there on the counter though. God willing, I won´t need it any more! It has served as my pillowcase and as a hat when the sun has been intense or the rain unrelenting. And by golly, it does not have a pleasant fragrance. But neither does anything else in my pack right now! Thank goodness we were able to get our clothing washed and dried yesterday at the albergue because nothing has been dry for at least three days. Do you know what happens to damp clothing stuffed into plastic bags? It is not a pretty picture--or rather, not a very nice thing to open up when you need to put the contents on your body.

We wandered Santiago for a little bit trying to find a cheap place to stay. Ran into familiar people. It would be fascinating to sit on the square (when it is sunny, of course) and see all the pilgrims arriving. There are many people from the beginning that I have lost track of. Some I learned today had to drop out for health reasons, some for discouragement. What makes the pìlgrim arrival a tad bit strained is that the square is filled with tourists who wonder what in the world all these wet, smelly people are doing wandering around amongst them. I cannot tell you how many times we stopped people to ask for directions only to find out that they were tourists! But again, the Spanish are incredibly kind to pilgrims. When we couldn´t find the alberque, one woman walked us to it--and we are talking about a twenty minute walk. The albergue is outside the old city and huge. I opted for a single room tonight. I needed a night in a room by myself. As a pilgrim, you learn to appreciate the simple things. Like going to the bathroom all by yourself without having five or more others also in there with you. Like taking a shower without having to take everything you own in with you. Like sleeping through the night without having the sounds (of all kinds) coming from a multitude of others waking you up.

I stayed in a private albergue in Santa Irene last night--was one of four in the attic. A pleasant change--there were real sheets on the bed and she handed us a bath towel. Imagine. A real towel and clean sheets! See what I mean?

Tomorrow I will attend mass at the Cathedral and do the pilgrim rituals. Today I was simply far too tired. It is still raining tonight. So had a simple dinner of lentil soup, Russian salad (a really pitiful excuse for a vegetable salad), and flan for dessert. And of course, lovely bread and Roija wine. Tomorrow I am going to have to start cutting back on the food intake. Without walking 20-28k per day, things will begin to get out of hand if I keep eating the way I have been! So I´ll taper off. A sad, sad thing!

May your journey take you to the place where you will encounter the grace and love of God. May you bask in the sudden sunshine when you are surrounded by rain. I give thanks for the opportunity to take this amazing journey. It will take some time to unpack--not only the backpack, but the memories and stories. I look forward to sharing them with you.

In Palas de Rei

OK, I did a 28k day today. I didn´t intend to but it happened. First of all two German women got up at 5 a.m. this morning and bustled around rustling bags and flashing their flashlights until the whole room was awake. I finally got up at 6, ate my yogurt and banana, and got under way around 6:30 a.m. in the dark and with mist that was almost rain. I wasn´t especially happy about this but it is Camino. It is not a pleasant thing to sit in a room when you can´t really sit up (because the bunk above you prevents such a luxury) and there are lots of smelly boots made even more so by the humidity of Galicia. Luckily the pathway today was pretty good underfoot. Soft with needles and clear dirt. Not too many big rocks. It doesn´t begin to get light until 8 a.m. so you have to be pretty alert watching for arrows and direction changes. Luckily there was one person far ahead so I had it a bit easier. I arrived at my intended destination around 10:45 a.m. and then several people I know came along and convinced me to walk with them to Palas de Rei. They wanted to walk slowly so it worked out alright. And the walk was very pleasant.

Arrived here around 1 p.m., found the albergue quickly, took a shower, did laundry and took a brief nap--interupted by the two women who woke everyone up this morning!!! They got here two and half hours after I did. What in the world took them so long? And now I have a preview of tomorrow morning as well since they are in the beds next to mine. One lesson of Camino is that you have to let go of a lot of your irritations at people and with people. You live in such close community--sharing intimacy in ways you don´t even share with your own family--that you simply cannot indulge yourself in petty frustration. Otherwise you´d never have enough energy and enthusiam to get up the next day and do it again. I continue to be surprized by the men who think nothing of walking around in their briefs (and these are NOT boxers) for extended periods of time. Today I saw men walking without shirts--how do they avoid pack burn??

So much for slowing down......I could actually be in Santiago two days from now. And then the question becomes do I attempt to walk to Finisterre. It is supposed to rain hard for the next two to three days so we will see how things look ¨from under the poncho¨! It is hard to believe Santiago is so near. I keep watching the distance bollards counting down the kilometers. Some of us were talking today how it seems as though the time has gone by so quickly and yet in some ways, it feels like we´ve been here doing this for a very long time. Or maybe I should spend a little hotel time in Santiago and begin to get over sleeping with 10 to 100 of my Camino friends! I am beginning to get excited to see Santiago, experience arriving on the square in front of the Cathedral, going to the pilgrim mass, and then coming home! Thank you for all your prayers and support. I have been vigilant in my prayers for you (and especially those who wrote out their slips with particular concerns) and for St. James´ and our future together.

May God bring you sunshine and grace.

In Portomarin

A short day today. Got up at the late hour of almost 8 a.m. and left around 8:30 after coffee and toast. A delightful misty day in Galicia. Again was surrounded by cows and sheep this morning. It is amazing how much this area looks like Ireland--from the slate slab fences to the layout of the farms and the terrain. Huge trees--how many pilgrims have touched them? Walked the morning with a woman from--guess? Canada!! A nice conversation and then she and her walking companion were off. At the albergue last night, met a woman who is a relative of the French Canadian couple I was walking with the first few weeks. This is indeed a very small Camino world! Met a woman outside the supermercado who is suffering from bed bug bites big time. She got the bites in a small albergue in Burgos. She has had an allergic reaction and is covered, and I mean covered, with pustules as big as your thumb. She was waiting for her doctor appointment. She is the third person I have met with bed bug bites.

Not much time today as internet access is VERY expensive here and slow. I am trying very hard to slow down to around 12 to 16k per day. I may still arrive in Santiago a little early. There are some positives to that--I just might catch up with some of the people I have met along the way and lost track of. Surprising though how people pop back in.

The walk this morning in the mist was restful. What a wonderful world we live in. May God bless you this day and always with grace and eyes to see what is spread out before you.

In the middle of nowhere close to Portomarin

I walked from Fonfria yesterday (a wonderful albergue by the way, with GREAT homemade food: homemade vegetable beef soup, chorizo sausage and pasta, followed by Santiago almond cake) to Samos. My leg made the decision between the two routes--the longer one to Samos or the shorter one to Tricastela. Samos is the location of the oldest existing monestary in the western world. It is a beautiful little town in the midst of the mountains. Went to mass last night and heard the Gregorian Chant in a beautiful space. Really made me miss the Eucharist. As a non-Roman Catholic I have been respecting their unwillingness to extend an invitation to the table to us. I did not stay in the monestary albergue. While I was waiting for them to open, I realised that the bar across the street offered bunk space for 8 euro (and only 10 bunks in the room which becomes a real luxury on the Camino!) with a clean bathroom with a real tub. I looked in the monestary albergue--metal bunks very close together and 3¨mattresses. Sorry, after a long hard climb and many ups and downs, this old body needs a better bed than that. Turns out only four of us stayed in the room--including a Canadian couple I had met early on. Small world, the Camino!

Left Samos this morning around 7:30 a.m. Dawn is now coming close to 8 a.m. I did not see another pilgrim until I arrived in Sarria about 11 a.m.! Not a one! It was a cool, misty morning with lots of fog around. At one point I was concerned that I was not in the right place because though I was following arrows, there were no other pilgrims. I asked an old woman sweeping her step if it was the Camino. She nodded yes. I thanked her profusely and she gave me an apple to ¨restore my spirit.¨ I am still amazed that there was absolutely no one! It was both nice and worrisome at the same time. This afternoon was completely different. Upon leaving Sarria, there were lots of people. Sarria is the last place where you can begin walking to Santiago and still receive a Compostela. I´m glad it wasn´t a weekend because it would have been much worse. You can tell the long distance pilgrims from the newbies almost in a heartbeat.

Today was one of some asphalt walking (which absolutely destroys my legs) and some really wonderful and beautiful trails in woodlands and country roads. The mist continues into the afternoon, though the sun is shining. So it is difficult to see very far. I followed several herds of cows being led in for milking (no, I didn´t go THAT far) and was surrounded at one point with a herd of sheep. The amount of manure on the roads and trails is incredible. At some points, it is as though the farmer took a hose and cleaned out the barns right onto the street. You have to step carefully or you will carry the ¨fragrance o´barn¨with you for many miles.

I am staying tonight in a room above another bar in Morgade. The 99k marker to Santiago is right outside. So far three women in the room with 8 beds--and none of the beds are bunks! It was a 24+k day today. Though the legs are sore, as long as I stop regularly and stretch and drink lots of water, I can coax them into going a little farther.

Less than two weeks to go! It hardly seems possible that I have been doing this for a month. I am still grieving the loss of my camera and the memories it contains, but I have also been making a point of savoring the moments as they come along. The Camino is an incredible experience. From meeting people from around the world to the difficulties of the day to day routine and challenges that you share with one another.......I don´t know that you can find this anywhere else in the world. I did meet a couple today from Florida. Only the sixth and seventh Americans I have met.

In Fonfria

Well I have decided to slow down. My Canadian friends were off to a 28k day. Not for me. My legs are in pain--so much so it was difficult to sleep last night. So I ended today around noon with a little down time to write and just converse with others. Tomorrow I may go only to Tricastela--we´ll see how I feel in the morning. This is a tiny, tiny town. Four houses, some cows and chickens and us pilgrims. The albergue is very nice and very few of us are here. Such a delight! The climb over O´Cebrerio this mornign was lovely but oh, the ups and downs today! And after the mountain climb yesterday.......well, this is the end of mountains. Santiago is coming closer and closer and Galacia is beautiful. It is very cool and autumn has definitely arrived. Lots of turning leaves and the air is bright and fresh. Blessings upon you all.

Villafranca de Bierzo

Today was another long one on pavement. I continue to be surprised by the amount of walking on the Camino involves walking on concrete and other hard surfaces. My legs are killing me. But we took the alternate route through the vineyards and watched the grape harvest. They also plant apple and pear trees in the vineyards so several men were picking fruit. With the bedbug scare in the municiple alberque, we are staying in a private one on the other side of the bridge. Very nice and quiet. <

Now in Ponferrada--only 202km from Santiago

We have decided to slow down. Now no more than 22k per day. Those 30+ days are too hard on the body and soul. Besides the heat has returned in the afternoons. We are still leaving around 6:30 to 7 a.m. but dawn is now after 7:30 a.m. One of my learnings from the lost camera is that I have to take time to take the images into my mind and heart--which involves slowing down to notice. Yesterday´s sunrise was one of the most beautiful of all. I purchased a new camera in Astorga (did I already mention this?) because I want you to be able to see some of the wonderful people and vistas I am enjoying. The man at the camera shop was very compassionate. Though he did not speak much English and I am challenged to some extent in Spanish, he did everything he could to explain and check things out. He set the date, time, and language for me (English instructions are on CD which obviously I could not use!) and gave me an extra set of batteries and a camera case at no charge. The instructions came in French, German and of course, Spanish, so now my French companions have been helping me. I now have this camera clipped to my pack so it cannot get away!

We climbed the highest elevation on the Camino yesterday from Rabanal. Going up is fine for me. And up we certainly did go. Placed my rock at the Iron Cross yesterday (a pilgrim tradition to leave your rock as a symbol of letting go of your burdens) amid the crowds. Many people had arrived by taxi so it was a bit disconcerting to wait in a line one more time. I did discover on the way down from the Iron Cross that leaving your rock is only a transition, not a completion. Letting go is much more difficult than a single act. But when I placed my rock, it instantly slipped away and out of sight among the many rocks so there was no way to ¨take it back.¨ Guess that commits me to doing the work involved in letting go. I spent the long, rocky descent thinking and contemplating--though the rocks on the descent took a great deal of concentration and focus. One mistep and you are toast. Guess that is the way of rocks! One false move and they get you! But when you give one away, it slips away from your grasp. Letting go of what burdens our souls and minds is not easy. The first step is identifying the burdens and the second is the reality that sometimes we would rather hang on to them for a variety of reasons. After all, if we let them go, we might have little to complain about!

We stayed in Reigo last night--oh my, what a terrible climb down from the mountain. Rocky and steep. My feet and knee were killing me. But still no blisters. We had stopped for a while to take off boots and drink water in Acebo but nothing was open there except the bar. The Reigo alberque is nice. Each bunk is in its own little room with sliding doors for privacy. And there is room for only 24 people so no crowd scenes. A refreshing change. It is operated by the owner of the bar--hence no other facilities to buy food in the town. Reigo must be a retirement or vacation town as many of the houses were very beautifully restored and plentiful plantings. Expensive cars parked out front. The church there is lovely and surrounded by olive trees and views of the mountains that can´t be beat. I ate dinner last night at the Ënglish¨table. A couple from South Africa, a French woman, and a German woman from East Germany--since we all spoke English, I could understand everything for a change. We had a wonderful conversation about the state of church and how we come to believe what we believe. The Camino is an incredible mixture of culture and religious experience. It is fascinating to learn about others´ experiences and questions. In many ways, we are so very similar and the questions that drive us are the same. And yet our cultural situation shapes what we expect from the church. Some expect nothing and others expect everything.

Took a short day today to land in a city with stores because nothing is open on Sunday (they still practice Sabbath and the tradition of the long Sunday walk). We arrived with absolutely no food in our packs. We have been unable to purchase additional food for the past two days--had to make do with whatever we had and eat dinner in bars. So tonight we will cook! Ponferrada is a beautiful city. We toured the Templar Castle and walked through the various town squares. I ended up purchasing a camera in Astorga so I took Grace´s picture in front of the Castle. The basillica here is probably the most peaceful of those we have been able to enter (most churches continue to be locked). There is an organ concert tonight but it is too late for us pilgrims to attend. The town refugio is lovely and manned by volunteers. You can take showers and do your laundry when you arrive as check in for rooms is not until 2 p.m. This is a very nicely thought out refugio. Bunks are in rooms of 4. There is a refugio cat who is very friendly. And there are grapes growing on the trellis which are cut each day, washed and offered to pilgrims. I took a picture of the line-up of packs. Many, many are here. Some familiar faces in the crowd. The line at 4 p.m. was as long as the line at opening. I think there will be many headed for Villafranca tomorrow. We went to the grocery. Dinner tonight will be veal with mushrooms and green peppers, boiled potatoes, green salad with carrots, cucumber and white asparagus, and for dessert--apple cake. And of course, wine and bread. A bottle of good Rioja wine is about 2 euros. You just can´t beat that!

Blessings upon you all. May the Holy Spirit find an opening in your heart for the peace and understanding you seek.

In Astorga

After a long night of tossing and turning and remembering all the photos I now I have lost, I am coming to terms with it. This morning during my prayer time, I heard the messsage: the treasure is in your heart not in a box. And within minutes, there was a tiny sacred heart image painted on one of the Camino bollards. I began to cry and to think and remember all those people and images I really do treasure and indeed, they/you are carried in my heart. I am still very sad about the loss but there is nothing we can do when things happen other than learn from them what there is to discover. Grief is such a confounding thing. It comes and goes like the wind--and yet as we contemplate what we have lost, we discover the beauty and lessons of what we had and yet continue to have. I will check with the albergues here in Astorga to see if by chance anyone turned in the camera but I have no hope that it will be found.

Santiago is getting closer. One picture I took in Leon said there was only 330k to Santiago. It is hard to believe that this time is drawing closer and closer. Today is a beautiful, clear fall day. I give thanks to God for good weather, good companions and for those who love and care about me. Blessings be with you.

The really good news about Spain......

Not only is the country beautiful and the people gracious but the wine is both good and cheap, the bread excellant and the cheese.......well the cheese is enough to keep you drinking wine and eating bread. I am coming to the stark reality that my camera will not return. But with two bottles of wine (how can you fault good wine at 2 euro a bottle??), good company and plenty of cheese, I am coming to terms. I will simply have to remember in my quickly fading mind what I have seen and experienced. I was hoping to have photographs to bring things to memory but that is, I guess the way of the Camino. Things are given and things are taken away. I continue to meet more Canadians so I guess that is my fate. Many share my pain at this loss--such is the companionship and compassion of the Camino. Tomorrow Astorga and perhaps the purchase of another camera. We´ll see. I simply cannot imagine arriving in Santiago without a photographic moment. Looks like I just might make the walk to Finisterre as well. No blisters, knee holding OK, but the legs are tired and hurting. Ibuprophen is a miracle drug. Continue to pray for the return of the camera--I cannot imagine a pilgrim picking it up and not attempting to find the owner. Blessings this beautiful but sad night.

Now if I can only stop crying

Somewhere between the end of the puente and the albergue, my camera disappeared. We´ve been up and down the street four times, checked with the local bars, and talked with pilgrims but it is gone. So are all my pictures--some 500+ of them. I am sick. I´ve given my name and phone number to some Italians moving forward and the albergues here both have my name but I have no hope that it will turn up. I would hope a pilgrim would turn it in here but sometimes what is lost becomes truly lost. I pray that it will show up--after all, Grace´s picture in Leon is on that chip. Pray for me that the profound sadness I feel will lift. Blessings on this day from one very, very, very sad peregrina.

Beautiful day in Hospital de Orbiga

Leon is delightful. Took lots of pictures. The Cathedral breathtaking and San Isodore lovely. We had our pictures taken with the very tired pilgrim in St. Mark Square--and Grace had her picture taken with him too. After a brief visit in Leon, we are now in Hospital de Orbigo. Beautiful sunny day with a light breeze. The Meseta is tough. Not because it involves climbs or anything like that. It is tough because it is long, rocky and when mixed with asphalt, it is so hard on the legs and feet. I don´t think I ever have to do this part again! At least the weather has turned delightful though still a little on the cool side.

Last night we were once again astonished by pilgrims who do not look around to be aware of others. Everyone was trying to sleep so I got up and turned off the lights. One girl got up and turned on the lights. Then left them on. I got up and turned them off again. She wanted them on for some strange reason I could not understand because she was Korean--but everyone there was trying to sleep. Then off again with the lights until later at curfew when several pilgrims came in and threw on all the lights and began talking loudly and laughing. It is a reminder to stay in the smaller albergues.

Wish you all could see this beautiful country. The people are so warm and welcoming. Each time I am in a city, the number of people who go out of their way to help pilgrims is touching. One man walked us to the alberque. A woman hailed us from across the street to point out the way. And though I do not speak much Spanish, I have been able to navigate remarkably well. And met additional Canadians yesterday and today. I swear there can be no one left there! More to follow.

May God bless you on your own journey. May the grace of God open your eyes to see the beauty laid out around you. And may the peace of Christ open your heart to receive the bounty found in the generosity of others. This is an amazing journey, my friends, and I thank you for the opportunity to experience it.

Arrived in Caldadilla de la Cueza

We are slowing down. The Meseta really takes its toll. The path is wide and straight and fairly level but the rocks and wind really take it out of you. It is cold--40 degrees F in the morning and very windy. The days don´t warm up that much either. We were in Carrion last night. Stayed in Hostal Santiago. As we came into town, a woman told us the alberque we were looking (Espiritu) for was not good and recommended this place. Turns out it is HER place. We shared a room with two German women who spoke no English so we spent a lot of time with sign language. Guess it was OK because we only had to share a bathroom with a few other people. But the German women woke up very early this morning (one was a snorer) so we too ended up getting going early. Marcel may have a stress fracture so we are evaluating options at this point. One of the pilgrims we started with in St. Jean had to be rushed to the hospital yesterday--he passed out and couldn´t be revived. The Camino takes its toll.

We had dinner at a little bar and I finally got some beef! After a quite good salad with beets and carrots and other vegetables (a real treat as vegetables are not all that easy to come by), the beef turned out to be pot roast in a delicious broth. Ah, heaven! For two days I have been craving some red protein. The fish has been good but not very much of it on a little trout. There have been no kitchens so we have been unable to make boiled eggs. Carrion is a pretty little town. We sat at the window at the bar and watched all the townspeople leave the church and begin their evening rambla. The Spanish take Saturday evenings very seriously. First you go to church and then you walk. Everyone is out and the children run everywhere. There may have been a wedding yesterday afternoon because the whole town was outfitted in suits and dresses and we saw a couple--she was dressed in a very traditional dress with a flower in her hair and the man had a matching tie with his suit. Then we saw vases of beautiful flowers being carried through town.

We decided to take a short day today as everyone is tired and we do not know how Marcel´s leg is going to go. In addition, Frances has broken out with something so I gave her benedryl. We will rest here this afternoon and decide. The sun has finally come out so maybe the laundry which has been damp now for two days will finally dry. So far my feet are fine. No blisters. I am almost embarassed as it seems to be a pilgrim thing to compare them. My legs hurt but if I slow down, I can make the distance. It is tempting to try to go faster to keep up with people who are much younger--this is not wise.

Long discussion with some other pilgrims yesterday about trust. How difficult it is to trust, how often we withhold it from one another, and how easily it is destroyed. It is amazing to have these conversations with people from all over the world.

Arrived in Fromista

Today did not begin well. First there was a woman in our room who snored loudly and when someone tried to tell her she was snoring, she called them a nasty name and went right back to snoring. Then she woke at 5 a.m. and insisted that everyone get up! It was raining heavily this morning, windy and COLD. So into the darkness we went only to reach a terrible climb right off the bat. Nothing like cold rain to get your spirits dampened as you climb a very steep climb. At the top there was nothing but fog. Pyrenees here we are again. And then on the way down, the clay soil stuck to your boots making each one weigh about five pounds more. We tried to walk in the fields but that was just as bad. Now let me give you a picture: imagine having to pee and it is raining and cold, you have a pack on your back and are covered with a poncho. What do you do? My answer to that question was: you do nothing. You keep right on walking. Not a good way to start a morning. I can appreciate those who walk in the spring rains. Even after the rain stopped, the mud did not. Boots are a mess and mud is all over everything from the knees down.

The Meseta continues on gravel roads and mud ones. We stopped in Boadillia to prepare a lunch of bread, wonderful tomatoes, Manchego cheese, and cookies. The albergue in Boadillia has a beautiful garden with sculptures and lots of green grass around a swimming pool. Beyond Boadillia, the roadside is really pretty. Many beech trees and a lovely canal. Still cold and overcast with ocassional sprinkles. Two of us have matching red ponchos and we are known as the ¨tomatoes¨ so today the tomatoes were in constant view of anyone following us on the Camino.

We arrived in Fromista around 1 p.m. We are staying at a relatively new albergue, Estrella, which is several blocks off the Camino. It is still cold but since we were not able to wash laundry yesterday, today we had to do something or the offending odors would make us very unpleasant to be around. So took hot showers (no, I did not wait for everyone else today) and then laundry. But it is not drying in the cold, damp air. And now it is raining again. The owner put the laundry lines in his garage so hopefully over night it will dry a little more. A nap was nice but again, cold so wrapped up in two blankets. Food choices today weren´t great but dinner was offered at 6 p.m. (versus the usual Pilgrim meal at 7 or 7:30) so OK. Had ensalada mixta, fried eggs, and rice pudding, and of course, bread and wine. Tonight will probably be an early to bed night. We have a man who snores (naps tend to reveal their presence) and who takes longer to get into bed than anyone I have ever seen. He can rustle more plastic bags and zip and unzip more zippers than I thought was possible to carry on the Camino. The presence of such people continues to remind me that we are constantly surrounded with challenging people but we are still called to be gracious and respectful. Not always easy or even a first response, but it is the way we are called to be. God´s blessing be upon you.

Now in Castrojeriz

Left Burgos yesterday morning in the pouring rain and 8 degrees centigrade. Very, very windy. Ran into familiar faces in Burgos. It always surprises me how frequently I know someone now in the crowd. Went to the farmacia for a knee brace, walked through a spectacular supermercado near downtown with all fresh fish, meats, olives, herbs, vegetables and fruits and breads. Walked to Rabe. Stayed in the recently reopened albergue there. The nasty French woman from the other albergue tried to convince us that we had to come to her place. We did not. She sat at her table with a scowl all afternoon. No one went to her place until the first albergue was full.

The remoded albergue is very nicely done. Dinner was good but NO WINE! How can a pilgrim expect to go on without wine? Left this morning in the darkness--dawn is coming later and later and there is no longer much of a moon. Got to Hontanas around 10 a.m. The day started with clouds, wind and very cold but by late morning, the sun began to peek through and the temperature rose a little. Still cold but a very nice way to walk the Meseta which are the plains of Spain you hear so much about. I cannot imagine doing this on a hot, sunny day. My hat is off to those who do it! So many new wind turbines going up! The cranes were very busy today lifting the columns up.

The terrain has changed so much over the past weeks. I can hardly believe that today I begin my third week. I have gone from mountains and forest to vineyards to fields of hay and wheat to vast plains. The many animals of the first weeks have disappeared. Very few farm animals are apparent now.

Arrived at Castrojeriz around 1 p.m. A long 4k walk to Castrojeriz along the road. Yuk. Had a cold shower--that will teach me to be gracious and let everyone else go first. It is cold and now I am still cold. Then off to the little tienda for tomatoes, bananas, wine and bread for the grand sum of 4 euros. I find myself living on bread, wine, cheese and fruit. This is a lovely little town. So much renovation going on. And an amazing panoramic view of the land. Lunch and then a little nap. I continue to be surrounded with Canadians. I am beginning to wonder if there is any one left in Canada! Last night and today almost everyone is from Canada. And by the end of the trip, I may understand a little French! I am already getting some of the conversations--which is lucky since that is practically the only language I hear. However I am the one they turn to when they need someone to interpret the Spanish. I did meet a young woman today from South Africa. It was nice to have a conversation with someone for whom English was their usual language. She walked to Santiago from Astorga last year and began this year from Burgos to walk to Astorga. She hopes to start from St. Jean next year and go to Burgos.

I keep leaving bits and pieces. And isn´t that the way? We get busy or distracted and suddenly discover that something we thought was important is now gone. Whether that is a possession or our youth or even a friendship. I lost my towel, lost my laundry soap and line and clothespins, and I am almost afraid to look deeply into my pack today to discover what I may have left in Rabe. Two Canadian women came in late yesterday--having just arrived in the country, talked loudly when we were trying to nap, got up several times during the night and left the door open so the light shone in my face, and then got very insistent with me this morning when I was trying to pack up--to get out and close the door! I didn´t thoroughly inspect around my bunk in my hurry to get out so I kept wondering today what was left behind.

I continue to marvel at the people who act as though no one else is affected by their behavior. The people who won´t turn out a light when they come in late, who sing loudly in the shower when others are trying to nap, who leave their messes in the kitchens, who leave their trash every where, and who talk on their cellphones when others are trying to sleep. There are many wonderful and gracious pilgrims but unfortunately there appear to be almost as many self absorbed and selfish ones.

Each day I ask for God´s guidance and love for you and for me. I don´t know when I have had so much time to reflect in silence. Thankfully my walking partners do not chatter so that my walking time is truly dedicated to prayer, reflection and raising up of many questions to God. I give great thanksgiving that I have this tremendous gift of time and a body that continues to perform admirably. No blisters. Only a knee that continues to act up from time to time. God´s peace.

Have arrived in Burgos

The crowds continue. Today is cold and very windy. We left Villafranca this morning (stayed in a lovely albergue attached to a hotel. Very nice and the same cost as the municiple!) and crossed the second of three mountain ranges. Long day. We are at the new refugio in Burgos right near the Cathedral. Very nice. Many familiar faces here. Including the man who wore the black thong in Pamplona. He is still roaming around but is thankfully dressed this time! Turns out many of the younger ones have been using buses to skip the ¨boring small towns¨ so that is why we rarely see them on the trail. This is one hopping place tonight. The partying is strong with the bikers and younger ones. We got the last two beds and a mattress tonight. We are in the ¨laundry room¨on the fourth floor which could be a real problem because the light automatically turned on at 7 p.m. tonight and there is no way to turn it off or on. The joys of Camino! Not much time and there is a line waiting to use the internet so I will hopefully get to update tomorrow. God is good and grace abundant.

Now in Redicilla del Camino

We began around 5 a.m. this morning. WAY too early but we are in the midst of a crowd before and after us. The refugio in Asofra is very nice. Two beds to a room! They did have to open up both the annex refugio and the original small one next to the church. Every bed was taken by 1 p.m. We were in rooms 0 and 1. Very noisy as the reception area and common gathering area is right there--but this morning it was great because we could get out without disturbing anyone. Additional toilets are right there. We walked into Santo Domingo around 8 a.m. this morning in time to stop for fresh pastries and coffee close to the Cathedral. Such is the pilgrim life. You get up, get your stuff together, take a big swig of water, eat a fruit or yogurt and get moving. By the end of the first hour or so you begin thinking about how good a hot cup of coffee sounds. By the second or third, you start to wonder about what might taste good with that coffee. Today is a big festival in Santo Domingo so many preparations were at hand. Parade horses were being readied and the street cleaners were out in force. I have been so impressed with the cleanliness of the many towns. Most of the towns I know in the USA could never come close. Unfortunately the Cathedral in Santo Domingo was closed up tight--as have been many of the churches we´ve passed, so I didn´t get to see the rooster and hen.

We stopped to take our boots off and eat some fruit in Granon after deciding to go on. Leaving Granon, we entered the Leon region. Looking at an overall map of the Camino, it doesn´t look like I´ve gone very far at all. We are now in Redicilla del Camino, a donativo public refugio. The tiniest showers on earth but hey, when you need a little warm water, almost anything will do. It is filling very quickly. I was hoping the crowding would begin to slow down but so far, no luck. There are many we started with who are behind us now but there are just as many (or more??) ahead. There are some young men doing 31 to 38 kilometers a day to see if they can get ahead of all this. I continue to be impressed by people who labor on with blisters and major physical pain. I continue to be unimpressed by people who go only from one town to the next and then sit there drinking the inexpensive wine all afternoon. I know I shouldn´t be judgmental but when everything is so crowded, it does irritate just a little.

Many couples are on the Camino. In conversations, it seems one partner was convinced to do this by the other. This is not a good combination. You have to be personally drawn to the Camino or it is bound to be a disappointment or problem. Several couples are experiencing some real distress because the less interested one is finding the struggles and the crowds to be too much. You have to walk your own Camino whether you come alone or come with someone. No one else can do it for you. At the same time, no one can force you to embrace the sacrifices and discomforts with any sense of joy or expectation if you do not want to be here. Some came expecting a cheap European vacation. Certainly the refugios are typically inexpensive and the Camino towns do their best to provide hospitality at a reasonable cost. But this is not a vacation. If you can´t handle the physical and emotional cost of the Camino, you will leave wondering why in the world it continues to draw so many into its embrace. I have been fascinated by the families (parents and young adults) who are doing the Camino together. There has been some real bonding where everyone was excited and committed to doing whatever it takes. But where there is unrealistic neediness, there are some fractures occuring.

The weather today is cool and cloudy. Excellant weather for walking long distances. We did more than 19 miles today at better than 3 miles per hour despite the inclines. But my body is not pleased. Today I hurt all over. But especially my legs. This is the first time I have felt like I really need a day off. Today was a mix of pavement and hard packed clay and gravel road. I wonder if I lost an inch of height today?? The next mountain range looms right after Belorado. I am debating going the 10k to Belorado tomorrow and calling it day.

This is my second Sunday on the Camino. I hold St. James´in my daily prayers but especially on Sundays I ask for God´s direction and grace for our congregation. May your Camino, wherever it may be, take you to the places where you will encounter the risen Lord.

Arrived in Asofra today

I am now one day ahead of schedule but that´s OK. We did a HOT pavement walk yesterday of over 18 miles. My feet are still in good shape but pavement is hard on the knees and the feet. I have fallen into a ¨family¨of French Canadians and a Belgium. It does help starting out in the darkness with others. With more eyes to watch for flechas amarillas it is harder to take a wrong turn. Also we have been cooking dinner together which makes it cheaper and more nourishing. Tevo left us early yesterday morning to take the train back to Belguim so we are down to four. The crowd surge continues to dog us. Everything fills by 1 p.m. The little old woman serving coffee and toast outside of Logrono told us she had counted over 365 pilgrims the day before. Some of the older ones have decided to drop out. They came in September expecting small numbers and no problems finding beds. The refugio in Ventosa yesterday said they usually have 5000 per year. They have already exceeded that number by last week. There were folks standing outside at Ventosa who either had to walk an additional 10k or take a taxi. It was a terribly hot day helped at times by a cool breeze. The old woman asked me to take a Korean bible--left behind at her house--to the little Korean man. I had sat next to Mark at the pilgrim´s dinner at Roncesvalles and we have met several times on the way. So who should I see the moment I arrived in Ventosa? Mark--who was delighted to get his bible. I continue to be amazed by the familiar faces on the Camino. Over and over again I see the same people but not consistently. When I moved forward to Los Arcos, I seem to have caught up with the crowd I started with at Roncesvalles. Many nationalities are represented. It reminds me how provincial Americans can become--both in language and in cultural differences. I wonder what it would be like to know ¨The Peace of the Lord be with you¨in 30 different languages? Maybe I should begin asking each to write it down and to help me with pronunciation........

I have learned that you need to stop somewhere on Saturdays early enough to shop in a tienda(shop) for Sunday´s food. If you don´t, you are at the mercy of whatever you might be able to find open. Hopefully your Saturday stop is in a town large enough to support a tienda. This takes some thinking and planning. We will purchase food for cooking tonight and food for tomorrow´s breakfast and lunch. Our goal tomorrow is either Granon or Redicilla. If we had continued today to Santa Domingo, it would have been 31k--I was not in the mood to do that!

Today is another beautiful day. A bit cooler than the past few days. Rain is forecasted so we´ll see. Everytime I look at my poncho and think about sending it on, I am reminded that I might need it. I have used everything in my pack except for my fleece blanket. I could have used it last night but I didn´t want to dig it out in the middle of the night!

The grapes look like they are close to harvest time. The past two days have taken us past vineyards plump with dark red grape clusters--Roija wine. Needless to say, the wine is inexpensive and very good. The refugios sell wine so you never have to be without. Until I get access again (1 euro per 20 minutes--which is a stretch because the machines are so slow that you really only get 15 minutes)--there are many waiting. God´s blessings surround you, Christ´s peace be within you and may you be open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Buen Camino!

Now in Los Arcos

Just a brief update. I did a LONG day today--over 18 miles. I am hoping to take a short one tomorrow. We´ll see. Blessings to you all. Weather continues to be hot and clear. Same tomorrow.

Arrived in Lorca

In Pamplona, the two young women who bunked with me made dinner and invited me to join them (in thanks that I did their laundry and brought it dry and folded to their bunks)--fresh lettace salad (alleluia!), boiled potatoes and little sausages. So in the city of wonderful food, I ate in the refugio kitchen. But it was good. We had to laugh at the elderly man walking around the refugio in nothing but a thong who leered at every woman. If it had been one walk to his bunk, OK, but he strolled throughout the refugio several times. Give me a break! Guess he had to put all his laundry in at the same time! Getting out of Pamplona in the dark (well, there area plenty of street lights!) was OK because I spied some folks just ahead and kept them in sight. And thankfully there was no traffic. The markings are very clear coming into Pamplona but not at all sufficient upon leaving. The two fellows I followed and I both used city maps to figure it out. Sunrise over Pamplona was breathtaking. It is a city worth visiting for several days.

The weather is beautiful--clear skies and bright sun. I have been leaving by 6:30 a.m. to walk in the moonlight. You do have to be careful though not to be so thoroughly engaged in prayer that you totally miss the path marking--as I did this morning! I started at 5:30 a.m. this morning to avoid the heat and the snoring Italian in the next bunk. Somehow the moonlight, the stillness and the fragrance of fresh mown hay took me to another place. So once again I put in more mileage than was planned. Do you know how I figured out something was wrong? No pilgrim trash. I am ashamed of my fellow pilgrims who leave their wrappers, empty bottles, etc. along the trail side. When I realized I wasn´t seeing any, I stopped. Someday I will learn to pay good attention if I´m going to be walking in the dark!

Stopped in Cizar Menor for coffee before the long climb up to Alto de Pardon. Spanish espresso is the best. I´ve started asking for my cafe solo grande con leche just to keep the calcium intake up a little. Lots of little crocus along the trail. And the blackberries--oh, the wonderful blackberries. God´s little treat sprinkled along the road. As I climbed I began to count all the things I need forgiveness for but it wasn´t long before I was led to consider all those I need to forgive. How can I ask for forgiveness if I am unwilling to extend it to others? Don´t you just get irritated by that part of the Lord´s Prayer? The Alto de Pardon is incredible--we had fun taking pictures. My two bunkmates arrived about the same time I did so we took each other´s pictures. They are both suffering physically and were not sure how much they could continue. The view from there is amazign. You can see just how far you have walked--awesome, and how much further you have to go before the next set of mountains. But the steep,rocky path down was ugly. One young woman ran down it and then wondered why her knee blew out. Lots of blisters and tendon pain for the younger folks. They go so fast. The older ones suffer from the heat and the need for endurance. Then there is that steady contingent of folks who just keep plodding along.

I stayed in Urtega last night. A delightful little alberque with bunks and private rooms upstairs. The one problem was there was no provision for doing laundry. When you are hot and stinky and only have one change, getting the funk out is important. Guess I´m getting there anyway because as I sat having an orange juice, I wondered what that gruesome smell was--turns out it is my pack. Once again the hoards came by wanting a bunk but all was full. The old ones are getting slower and arrive after everything is completo. Their faces are hard to see when they realize that they must continue on in the heat. There are so many people on the trail that today was a steady procession of pilgrims over the hill and down. It was like driving down 270. I decided to stop in Lorca rather than continuing into Estella for two reasons: the heat and the numbers. I walked further today than I had anticipated (both because of my mistake and I arrived at my planned destination at 10 a.m.) I keep saying to myself ¨take it slow, take it slow¨and sometimes I even listen! So far the feet are fine and I haven´t had to take any pain medication. But getting up after sitting for a while is tough...... The food has been wonderful. Last night´s pilgrim meal was paella, roast chicken with fries, and a delightful apple cake or fresh fruit and of course the obligatory all you can drink wine. I did buy some bread, yogurt and cheese in Pamplona so I have been snacking on that during the day.

Now I´m off to get a lemonade and a shower. And hopefully get some clothes washed and hung out to dry. May God´s blessing be upon you and the peace of Christ within you.

Arrived in Pamplona

Left Zubiri this morning around 6:30 a.m. Very cold--could see your breath, but absolutely clear. Was able to walk by moonlight again until dawn. Found no coffee until 10 a.m. from a little tent set up outside someone´s house. Excellent coffee and homemade bread pudding. Turned out to be another beautiful day. Warming up around 11 a.m. Arrived in Pamplona at noon. I really am walking slowly. I don´t know how I am getting places so ahead of others. A fellow pilgrim from Hungry got there about the same time so we sat on the step and ate our bread and fruit. We are beds one and two--they are assigned by your arrival time. What a beautiful facility! Took a shower, put wash in with a pilgrim from Brussels and another from Hungary. The washing machine is free but the dryer is one euro. Washing powder is available from the reception desk for 50 cents. Takes an hour and 15 minutes to wash so I will be doing some power napping in a little bit. It is one euro for 15 minutes so this will be quick.

Spent last evening with six people from Ireland, one from Brussels and another from England. It was good to find English speakers! But then we discussed politics and religion--a heady topic if there was one to bring in so many different perspectives. Made reservations for dinner so we were able to get in before the crowd. We had Russian salad (a mayo mixture of carrots, peas, and capers), stuffed red peppers and yogurt for dessert. Not getting a whole lot of fiber in all of this!

They ended up opening the school last night so the overflow could sleep there. There were some mattresses but not enough for everyone. When others were asked to share their sleeping mats, most refused. Seems it was more a language problem than anything else. But my heart went out to the older folks who didn´t seem to know what to do and didn´t have any provision for such an event. I have talked with a number of people who said they came in September because the crowds are usually less. The numbers seem to be increasing. I am amazed by the number of Koreans, Indians, and Japanese. Very few Americans.

I am finding myself talking to the many animals along the way. A lot of wild horses, sheep, goats and of course cows. Lots of animal droppings on the Camino. A reminder how often we have to navagate that stuff to get through. I also spoke to a very old tree yesterday--how many pilgrims has it watched passing by?

Buenos dias!

Tonight in Zubiri

Woke up early this morning and was packed up and ready to go when the doors of the refugio opened at 6:15 a.m. Another pilgrim and I walked in the darkness--well at least when we were under trees as the moon was bright. Stopped in the next town for espresso and an egg sandwich. VERY cold this morning and windy. But when the sun came up, the sky was clear blue. Finally warmed up this afternoon but perfect day for walking. What was tough today were the millions of small rocks on the way down to Zubiri. The bottoms of my feet ache. The Larrasona alberque is closed for three days so hundreds of pilgrims were stranded here in Zubiri as the next albergue is an additional 15 miles. Luckily I got here at noon and was able to snag a bed right away. But while waiting for a friend to show up, I got to tell at least 60 pilgrims that everything was full since the way into town is by the alberque were I am staying. Finally at 4:00 they decided to open the school so pilgrims could sleep there. I felt horrible for many of the older pilgrims as they were the late arrivers and I doubt many of the young ones will give up their cots. In addition, the grocery closed at 2 p.m. and nothing will be open tomorrow and unfortunately the bar also closed at 2 and won´t reopen until 7:30 p.m. And there is no restaurant other than the bar. There is a lot of pent-up demand and frustration in this tiny town tonight, let me tell you!

The pilgrim office reported that over 300 pilgrims signed in at SJPP day before yesterday--not even counting those who were starting at Roncesvalles. Roncesvalles was packed and they had to open up the annex. Record numbers are coming through and if today was any indication, the system is going to be mightily stressed. Luckily no one (out of 120 people!) snored! That was a shock. The Pilgrim´s Mass was very meaningful but I was greatly disturbed by the number of pilgrims who took flash photos all through the service. How disrespectful! Any one who knows me, knows I do not take kindly to people who treat worship as something to be treated as something common. At least wait until after the service if you want to take pictures.....OK, I´ll get off my soapbox.

In thinking about yesterday, it was a humbling day. The weather was terrible, no question. But a Dutch couple had tried to warn me that I was going the wrong way but I did not understand what they were saying and so went on. There are not many English speakers--I have spent most of time with French speaking folks (France and Canada)--a real Tower of Babel. But sometimes, even when you don´t understand, you need to step back and relook at the situation. I could not see them, nor could they see me due to the fog and sleet storm but they yelled out--I should have stopped right then and then. Lesson heard, Lord! I did see them today on the trail and tried to thank them. I have no idea if they have a clue but I am thankful. And today I was thankful for glorious weather and a healthy body. Tired but still raring to go! And the barb wire wounds are starting to heal. Thank you for your kind words and prayers! I hold you in my heart and in my prayers.

Arrived in Roncesvalles

I flew into Pamplona and took transport to SJPP for my start on Thursday. The flight from Boston caught a tailwind and landed two hours early so I got to sit in the Madrid airport and cool my heels. I had hoped to sleep on the flight but that was not to be. My seat partner turned out to be an Iberian flight attendant--good news because he was served first class food and shared, including wine. We talked for a good time but by the time he went to sleep up in his bunk, we were two hours from landing and they began breakfast service almost immediatly. So much for the best laid plans!

Pamplona is beautiful. I took bus 21 into the city. For 1.10 euro, it drops you off at Cortes Ingles--a wonderful department store with incredible food in the lower level. Boy was I tempted but when you have to carry it all, temptation goes down the drain. A few snack bars and a loaf of bread. As long as you have bread, you are OK. Sent my package off to Santiago after figuring out the postal system. Two angels helped immensely. I roamed the city but finally was so tired I walked to the bus station and napped on the grass. Transport arrived at 4:30. I arrived in SJPP around 7:oo pm. Wonderful dinner and hospitality at LÉsprit. Salad, pasta with eggplant and tomato sauce, bread, and yogurt. Then immediately to bed after a shower. 30 hours without sleep is never pretty.

Today was a hard one. Finally crossed the Pyrenees today in rain and sleet into Spain. Then I made a wrong turn somewhere after the peak as I couldn´t see in the dense fog-which eventually led me down the mountain to a small town where I learned that I was in the wrong place. So back up the mountain in the blowing rain to the top. Three additional hours and probably 6 extra miles I did not need. So today I not only climbed the mountain once, I then climbed it again. In addition I took a¨"shortcut" through a field with cows and pigs. Meant I then had to figure out how to get across the barb wire fence--I now have a few wounds from that adventure! I do give thanks that the cows weren´t attracted to my red poncho! Yesterday started out overcast, then rain, and then clearing in the later afternoon. It took me a lot less time to climb 4,000 feet than I thought--so I paid double for that today in the final 2,000 feet. Taking lots of pictures. The moon shone through my window last night and woke me up. Nothing like sleeping in a spotlight. The sunrise this morning was covered by clouds but I did get some wonderful pictures of the Pyrenees before the weather abruptly changed. I feel those prayers! Thank you!

Here is the Daily Office reading for September 1st: Luke 10:1-9

The Mission of the Seventy
10After this the Lord appointed seventy* others and sent them on ahead of him in pairs to every town and place where he himself intended to go. 2He said to them, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers into his harvest. 3Go on your way. See, I am sending you out like lambs into the midst of wolves. 4Carry no purse, no bag, no sandals; and greet no one on the road. 5Whatever house you enter, first say, “Peace to this house!” 6And if anyone is there who shares in peace, your peace will rest on that person; but if not, it will return to you. 7Remain in the same house, eating and drinking whatever they provide, for the labourer deserves to be paid. Do not move about from house to house. 8Whenever you enter a town and its people welcome you, eat what is set before you; 9cure the sick who are there, and say to them, “The kingdom of God has come near to you.”*

What an incredible gospel lesson for beginning this journey! I am taking sandals, a bag and I intend to greet people on the road; however the message is clear: when you are sent out, you are to accept what happens..............a fitting reminder for the Camino.

Less than 24 hours to go..........

OK, I added some weight back in. I had shaved things down to nothing left to shave and one of those deletions included replacing my sandals and flip flops with my Croc sandals at 10 oz. I decided my feet really wouldn't appreciate the Crocs. I walked around with my loaded pack wearing the Crocs and they simply do not offer the support my feet and most particularly my arches need. Sure they are lightweight and very waterproof but if they don't work, they don't work. So back in go the Chaco sandals (sans the flip flops) and a couple of pounds. When all is said and done. you have to go with what your body requires. My husband calls my feet "princess feet" because they react to the slightest of sensations--one tiny grain of rock can cause big problems--hence the gaitors. I have hiked for long distances with no blisters because I make sure my feet are VERY happy. So the extra weight is good news/bad news for my feet: "If ya can't take the weight then don't be so darn picky!"

Yesterday's blessing service was deeply meaningful to me. The weather was forecasted to be lousy but turned out to be spectacular--a sunny, cloudless morning with a slight breeze at a delightful temperature. Many people attended and kids enjoyed the morning while adults sat in their lawn chairs. Celebrating Eucharist and then the pilgrim blessing outside in the meditation garden was very special. God is so very good to us! I received lots of prayer slips to carry with me--they are tucked in with my rosary; and I printed off a copy of our congregational picture taken yesterday morning so that I have lots of smiling faces to remind me that I go surrounded with prayer and love and with prayer work to do.

I have no idea what internet access I will have during my journey. I will update as I can. So until then--wish me Buen Camino!

Three days and counting

Today the last few arrangements came together this afternoon. I now have a place to stay in Santiago (Hostal Alameda) and an airline ticket from Santiago to Seville (can you believe the price jumped 35 euro in three days????). I cannot believe how much relief it brings having these things finalized. Jesus cautioned us about anxiety. But I also believe this difference: if you can do something about it, do it; if you can't, then let that anxiety go--for if you are spinning out of control, you just might miss the window or door opening up just out of sight.

Once again I've gone through pack contents--is there anything I've forgotten? Is there anything there I can delete? I will take my Camino Amigo with me tomorrow for our service. There will be a combined service so everyone will be together. Folks can try my pack on, ask me questions, and otherwise get a glimpse of what the pilgrim life will be over the next five plus weeks. Weather permitting (move along, Danny, move along!), the service will be outside on our gorgeous property looking out over the valley. We will rejoice in the beauty of God's creation even as we give thanks to God for the abundance poured so freely into our midst. And then, after a taste of bread and a sip of wine, we'll gather for a pilgrim blessing and celebrate with an old fashioned ice cream social. If there is something we consistently do well, it is to EAT!

I have been blessed with the gift of a silver shell necklace--to be worn as I walk. I assured the givers that it would be an awful mess by the time this was over but also a constant reminder of those I leave waiting for my return. My husband has taken so much time away from work for tests, injections, etc. that he cannot take me on Tuesday so my next door neighbor will deliver me to Metro for my transit to Reagan National Airport. Last year she had thought about coming with me--not to be, but now she will be the last one to see me off. So many people have been involved in making this dream a reality. How can I thank them/you enough for all your support, encouragement and patience?

The time is growing very short

Introducing my Camino Amigo! Collapsed walking sticks are next to it.

Just four days now before I leave for Spain. So much to do yet but I must wait because the travel insurance company is still making some decisions regarding itinerary change coverage. You purchase travel insurance (admittedly this is the first time I have ever done so!) just in case. The problem is that they want receipts for all changes BEFORE they make a decision--thus leaving the insured in the difficult position of expending money with no idea if reimbursement will actually occur. I am pressing them to make a decision before I leave as I will not have access to phone, FAX and internet while I am walking.

Patience is difficult but the Camino is definitely making itself felt. I need to make arrangements to get from Santiago to Seville (the airline has made it abundantly clear that I cannot change my ticket itinerary in any way) but the what, when and where to stay because of still unknown schedule changes is still all up in the air. There is no easy way to get from Santiago de Compostela to Seville. I can take a more expensive flight and go the morning of my flight back to DC, or I can take a cheaper flight (or train) and spend an entire day getting to Seville the day before my flight home. I want to begin with a measure of freedom knowing that all has been arranged but it may be that it must be untangled as I walk. All this is very distracting at a time when I want to be focused on what it means to leave my husband and congregation for six weeks. In addition, due to many things, I haven't been able to walk with any consistency for almost three weeks so I feel like I am beginning two steps already behind!

My hair has been chopped off. I have packed my pack--again. I will be carrying around 14# without food or water. I have tried to be ruthless. We'll see. Every time I think about hauling it over the Pyrenees, I take another ounce or two out; but there simply isn't much left to eliminate unless I want to walk cold and naked! There is a reason for the burn pit at Finisterre--a place where pilgrims historically burn their clothes. After wearing the same two sets of clothes for six weeks straight (someone commented that they looked exactly the same in every picture taken of them on the Camino because they always had on the same clothes!), I have a feeling I'm not going to want to see my two sets again--or at least for a while! The weather forecast in northern Spain for the first four days I'm there is for rain and cooler temps. Guess I can't dispense with the rain poncho or fleece. God willing, may September weather be as clear and delightful as it usually is! I finally decided to pack a small duffle of "after Camino clothes" so I have an alternative when I arrive in Santiago. My plan is to mail it to Santiago from Pamplona on the day I arrive. Now if I only knew which Santiago hotel I will be staying at and for how long! So many unknowns--not the least of which are the lessons of the Camino once I actually get there and get started!

God is faithful. I continue to experience a paradoxial peace, amid all the questions and feelings of sadness about leaving, that this is the right thing for me to do right now. So while I do not begin with great joy, I begin with an open heart and a willingness to see where this takes me. My congregation will ask God's blessing upon me this coming Sunday and I ask God to watch over them and guide them during my absence. Those who remain at home will also experience their own Camino journey.

Today is a hard one

We just left the neurosurgeon's office. Rick is scheduled for surgery on September 3rd--he will go into surgery after lights out at the refugio in Spain. It is so very hard to think about not being here but so much has gone into carving out this sabbatical time (thanks to my wonderful congregation, St. James) that I cannot justify staying home. In addition, it is very sad that we will not have time in Spain to enjoy some time together. I didn't realize until this morning how much I had counted on having Rick with me for the Pilgrim's Mass. The blessing of all this is that hopefully he will be fit and painfree when I return in October. It has been a long, hard slog. Many arrangements to make now to be sure that all is well while I am gone.

I also now begin the process of revising my itinerary and completing reservations in France. It is hard to comprehend that two weeks from this hour I will be in Reagan National Airport going through security. With the new domestic regulations, my reservation does not EXACTLY match my government id so I am prepared for some delays but hopefully it will go smoothly.

Some have asked about books they could read about the Camino and the pilgrimage. There really are three: To a Field of Stars by Kevin Codd, My Camino by Sue Kenney, and Walk in a Relaxed Manner by Joyce Rupp.

Are you all ready and prepared?

Now that I am three weeks away from stepping on the plane, people are asking this question. I could have said "yes" but with Rick's back issues, "yes" does not seem to be the appropriate response. He began epidural injections yesterday. We have a meeting with the surgeon next Tuesday to discuss options. Rick still thinks he might be able to make it to Spain. I have serious doubts about that but I guess we'll see. Please keep healing for him in your prayers! Bottomline, either things will go as planned or nothing will go as planned. I am fairly ready for one but not entirely for the other.

I did contact L'Esprit in SJPP, France, and have a reservation and transportation for Wednesday, September 2nd from Pamplona. I must be "in between" lots of beginning pilgrims because the days I am starting were the few open ones for reservations from St. Jean. Do most start on the weekends rather than mid-week? If Rick does not go, I will have more time to walk and will begin from France on Thursday, September 3rd. And it would be a more leisurely trip and I could shorten some of those long mileage days. If he does plan to go (which hopefully I will know BEFORE I leave!), then I will have less time and begin as planned in Spain for arrival in Santiago on October 3rd.

My pack is basically assembled--still with a few last minute decisions to be made. Pack weight is now just below 15 pounds so I am feeling pretty good about that. I have weighed each and every item to the tenth of an ounce so I know exactly what it is. I cannot prepare for all eventualities so layering of clothing is key, as is multiple uses for items taken.

As far as internal preparation, I think I am ready. I am really looking forward to the daily discipline of walking and meditating. Long distance walking is my labyrinth--it is a journey begun with emptying out followed by opening up followed by being surprised by God. There are many twists and turns along the way as I seek the center--and surprise, many of those twists and turns have already begun! To help guide my spiritual reflections, I have my Book of Common Prayer, bible, The Pilgrim's Way (an orthodox spiritual treatise on the Jesus prayer), and other resources on my Kindle (13oz). I will journal daily and update this blog when I am able.

I am slowly allowing myself to get excited about this adventure! Twenty sleeps left!

Frustration and worry setting in

We came to Indiana for what was supposed to be pleasant, relaxing vacation week at our lake house. It has been anything but. Rick's back went out and things have not been good at all. No sleep and discomfort abounds. I haven't been able to get out to walk. A trip to the emergency room confirmed that he is probably not going to Spain and might in fact have to have surgery. He is now able to get around using a walker and heavy drugs but even that is not good. The drive back to Maryland will be long and hard.

This potentially and radically changes the dimensions of the Camino. I have a non-refundable ticket so if Rick does not come, I could spend a more leisurely time on the Camino rather than the mad dash to Santiago -- which would be a good thing. I could actually start in France. We lose the train and plane tickets we've already purchased for travel after the Camino but that is the price you pay, I guess, for getting the early, cheap rates. The fact that he might be having back surgery while I am in Spain is very worrisome. Communication is going to be challenged at best anyway but this could be hard. Hopefully we will have more answers before I climb on the plane September 1st so I know what our options are before I arrive in Spain. Letting go is such hard stuff.......

My Pilgrim Credential arrived today! Hooray! I ordered it some time ago and when I contacted the American Pilgrim Association, they admitted my application had fallen between the cracks. Guess it pays to follow up. Now it is in hand and soon to be in my pack. Found out my health insurance covers international travel so that was very good news as well. Picked up a Cash-pak of euros in small denominations so I have a little money when I land and don't have to use an ATM in the airport (typically much more expensive). Airline and train seats are finally confirmed. Things seem to be coming together rapidly.

Only two decisions left to make regarding gear: do I or don't I take a sleeping bag? It can get very cold toward the end of September in Galacia and the refugios often are not heated--do I risk it for the 32 ounces of saved weight? The other is whether to take goretex treated hiking shoes or not. If it is raining, gaitors and goretex can mean the difference between nasty blisters and not--but goretex doesn't breath well, especially if clogged with dust (which the Camino is also known for) and they are heavier. I am confident that all this will resolve itself soon.

The only other concern is Rick's (my husband) back. He has been experiencing back and hip pain since January and rather than improving, it seems to get a little better and then a lot worse. Please pray for healing. He is planning to join me in Santiago on October 2nd for the Pilgrim's Mass on the 3rd and we then plan to take 10 days to explore Barcelona, Madrid and Seville. As the dates draw closer, I am wondering if he will be able to make the trip. I may not know until the end of September. Open your fingers and let go........................what will be, will be.

Here is what I am taking:

Osprey Pack with Pilgrim Forum Patch
Hiking poles with rubber tips
Garmont Hiking Shoes
MH Sleeping bag
Silk sleeping bag liner
Ear plugs
Cotton Sarong
Small Belly pack for daily essentials such as snacks, camera, small amount of cash, etc.
Altus Poncho (covers pack and body)
Bandana
Prescription Sunglasses on a keeper
Short gaitors
MSR hydration pak - 2.5L
Wool Socks & liners - 3 pair
Chaco Sandals (to wear with hiking socks)
Cheap flip flops for the showers
Zip-off quick dry pants
Pair of quick dry capris or shorts
Two short sleeved poly-tees, quick dry performance
Long sleeved quick dry shirt-for sun protection and additional layer
Underwear - 2 sets
Lightweight fleece pants
Lightweight Fleece pullover
Sun/rain hat with wide brim
Tiny LED light on a neck cord (to keep handy for night and early morning use)
Camera & batteries, extra SD card
USB media transfer stick (to move pictures from camera to internet)
Whistle
Camino guide (with extra pages removed)
Kindle with BCP, Bible and other books, Spanish phrase book
US Passport
Pilgrim Credential
ATM & Credit Card
Waist pouch (worn under clothes for money, passport security)
Handiwipe
Lightweight soup/mug
Combo spork/plastic knife
Re-useable grocery bag (groceries, to/from showers, etc)
Cell phone & charger (will purchase a Spanish SIM amd Eurodirect card)
European adapter plug
Clothesline & 5 clothespins, 2 diaper pins
MSR quick dry towel
Deoderant-travel size
1/2 Bar of Liggett's Shampoo/conditioner
Toothbrush, paste, floss (all travel size)
Travel Brush, comb
Meds: pain, allergy
Nail clippers
Nail brush (for cleaning nails and boots!)
Toilet paper (center cardboard removed), matches
1/4 bar of Castile soap
Antibiotic cream
Blister Shield in a squirt bottle
Compeed and Bandaids
Sunscreen-travel size
Lip Balm

Total pack weight without water or food is approximately 15 pounds. Food and water will add approximately 3-4#. Since I carried 28-30# while long distance hiking on the AT, this feels soooooooooo much better!

In the beginning.....

The Way of St. James is a very old pilgrimage route. For over 1,000 years, millions of pilgrims have plodded along carrying their meager supplies on their backs as they made their way to Santiago where the bones of St. James the Apostle are said to be laid to rest in the Cathedral. There is no single route--many Europeans start right from their front doors--but the French Way (Camino Frances) is probably the best known and most followed pathway. It traditionally begins at St. Jean-Pied-de-Port on the French side of the Pyrenees and follows a westward path through Pamplona, Burgos, Leon and many, many small towns as one makes his or her way to Santiago.


For those who take pilgrimage seriously, it is a time of physical testing but also spiritual testing. Not only do you have to get up each day, put on your boots, load up your pack and get going no matter what the weather or how you feel about it--but if your mind and heart are open, you will encounter the Risen Lord in events, people and places in unexpected and often life transforming ways. It is a dangerous thing to do if you want everything to remain just the same.


I have been thinking about walking the Way of St. James for over twelve years now. It seemed like a sign when I was called to serve St. James Episcopal Church in 2001. And now it finally is about to happen! I leave for Spain on Tuesday, September 1st, 2009! People keep asking me if I am going with a group. And when I say "no, I am going alone" they are astonished. And yet we never really travel alone do we? We are constantly in the presence of God who loves us more than the person who loves us the most--but we are also in the company of those who have left their footprints in the dirt before us and those who journey along the same path whether we are in conversation with them or not. The number of pilgrims on the Camino has been steadily increasing and the number in 2009 is projected to be around 120,000! There is no way I will be all by myself in that kind of crowd and yet I go expecting to walk in solitude. Someone once wrote: I seek not to follow in the footsteps of those who have gone before; I seek instead the things they sought.


In preparing for this journey, I have discovered that in many ways, my Camino began with writing it down as something I wanted to accomplish. Two years ago I attended CREDO (a week offered to Episcopal priests to get away from the distractions of daily life to focus on four dimensions of health: spiritual, financial, emotional and physical. If one or more of these dimensions are out of balance, then life will feel out of balance. The purpose of the week is to get you to write down specific goals to get you back on track but also to DREAM BIG.) Unfortunately life seems to hurry by so fast that we often fail to recognize what is at the heart of our discontent. During CREDO, you are asked to identify specific goals for yourself--things that you would like to accomplish that challenge you in one or more of these dimensions. Walking the Way of St. James (or better known as El Camino de Santiago) brings all of them together! You must simplify down to basics for a pilgrimage. Probably the biggest thing you have to let go of is control. Nothing can be taken for granted. There is no entitlement. You must go with the flow and attempt to find joy and gratitude in whatever happens. And much like the disciples sent out by Jesus, you can take only a little and must depend on the hospitality and generosity of strangers to assist you along the way. On the Appalachian Trail, this is called "trail magic." Trail angels show up with a cold drink just as you are parched beyond belief; trail angels arrive at a shelter and prepare a feast just when you think you cannot stomach one more bite of dehydrated food; trail angels stop at road crossings and pick you up despite your smell and take you where you need to go. I have experienced the blessings of trail magic and give thanks to God for people who reach out not because they have to but rather because they want to--just because. So I go to the Camino wondering how I am called to be a blessing to others and how God's blessing will be revealed to me in others. And so it begins with one step forward.......